it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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