She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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