Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
3 2 1 whiskey
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize