i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
