Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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