i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
