the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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