WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
