Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
