If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
