I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
