There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
