2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
