What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
