he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.