dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.