idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.