We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.