I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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