It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
