ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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