ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
