Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
