i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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