You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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