"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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