Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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