I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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