You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
