how can u be prego again
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
