Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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