Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
