Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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