Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
