whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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