the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
