Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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