I wannas sexs uuuuu
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
