She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
