So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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