I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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