Can Purell be used as lube?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
