I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
