If i come over, it means nothing
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
