I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
