Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
