8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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