Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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