2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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