life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
