i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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