I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize