In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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