singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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