i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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