were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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