Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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