Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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