the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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