Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
