weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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