I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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