I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
