swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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