guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
