She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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