You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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