life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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