Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
