you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
