Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
