"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
