I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
