You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
